So ask me how many nights it's been since I've gotten more then 4-5 hours of sleep? >_< It's kinda funny, you hear all the cliche saying from those who say they are in love all the time. 'I can't eat. I can't sleep. My thoughts are only of the one I love.' Well, it seems now that this is pretty much 100% accurate. I find myself unable to focus. I have literally spaced meals and not even become aware of the fact until I find myself starving eight when it's time to catch some z's. I feel lost, and I fear my emotions are getting the better of me.
It is not my intention to sound emo with this realization, nor to place any sort of guilt upon you for being so far away. I guess I'm just trying to offer some sort of explanation for my actions and behavior. I'm trying to keep it together and to be strong. I am trying to do what I need to do and just keep moving forward with the simple day to day but... I find it all just doesn't seem to matter nearly as much without you by my side. What I'm saying here is you are so important to me and I love you dearly, and I couldn't imagine my life without you.
If this trip is some sort of test as to determine my threshold of being away from you, I think about a week is about all I can really take without going a little insane lol So, what I ask is bear with me. I'm going to probably seem disorientated and probably make some seriously knuckleheaded or 'blonde' moves before this trip is over and you are back in my arms... If I cause you some confusion, headaches, or frustration between now and then I do apologize. I love you, and I appreciate everything you do... Including putting up with me some times.
Love you Shannon, always
Matt
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